Tuesday, October 3
Heard scratching above office ceiling
Curious
Put chair on desk and climbed up
Raccoon
Scared him more than me
Never knew raccoons hissed
Fell off chair
Fell off desk
Rode in ambulance
Sixteen stitches
Facebook status: My office has 36 ceiling tiles
Friday, November 10
Walking into store to get groceries
Gunshots
Everyone hit the pavement
Bullet hole
Too close for comfort
Questioned by police
Interviewed by reporter
Two dead
One injured
Will need to replace fender
Before Dad sees
Facebook status: I forgot to get grapes at store
Sunday, December 24
Driving home for Christmas
Construction
Decide to take alternate route
Flat tire
Swerving in and out of my lane
Finally get pulled over
Broken jack
No spare
Dead phone
Present transfer
Friendly tow truck driver
Facebook status: Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 31
Reviewing Facebook page
Discouraged
To think nothing ever happens
Resolved
To live more exciting life next year
Run marathons
Try extreme sports
Distracted by cat
Nope, opossum
In house through cat door
Exterminator closed
Call police
Call animal control
Call Dad
Pack up cat
Head to parents
Facebook status: My life is virtually uneventful.
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